a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
people are starting to question the shark bite story
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize