Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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