i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize