Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
this boner is exhausting
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
