It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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