wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
