I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
