I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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