You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
