Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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