Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(207): View more from Maine

We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.

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(812): View more from Indiana

Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.

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(206): View more from Washington

If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic

(414): View more from Wisconsin

USA! USA! USA!

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(630): View more from Illinois

Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.

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(701): View more from North Dakota

Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.

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(325): View more from Texas

You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.

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(253): View more from Washington

Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…

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