3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize