So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
