I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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