You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
