you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
