Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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