the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize