best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
