the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
