then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
