I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
