Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
