i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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