The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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