I heard we made out
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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