How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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