4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
