Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
