Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
We had sex on a dog bed..
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
