what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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