her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
