I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize