Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
