I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
