That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
