somebody snuck up and got me drunk
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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