My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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