we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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