Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize