I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
she told me i tasted like america
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
