A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
