I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
