i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
