Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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