whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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