i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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