I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
