i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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