not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
