I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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