I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
