So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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