If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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