i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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