I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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