I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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