Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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