i barfeds in our rink
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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