I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
