okay pat passed out under dana's car
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
