Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
if i can run in heels then i can drive
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
