as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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