shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
you're hired as official boob wrangler
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
