Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Randomize
