He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize