My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
