I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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