WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
