LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
it's great music for shaving your balls
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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