i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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