Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
