A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
