Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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