He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Randomize
