There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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