Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Randomize
