So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
