I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
