My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Buhtt sex?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
My orgasm happened in two different decades
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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