I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
