Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
