Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
