oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
