Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
We left the knife in your bed.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize