It's like God shit irony all over that family
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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