Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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