no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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