Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
